Those who know me will know that as well as being a big sports fan, I am a massive geek. Star Wars has been an obsession as long as I can remember, Middle Earth became one when the release of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy introduced me to that world, and following a massive binge ahead of Captain Marvel to catch up on everything I had missed in time for Avengers: Endgame, the Marvel Cinematic Union has also secured a place in my heart.
These last couple of weeks have been big for me in my MCU fandom. With the home release of Spider-Man: No Way Home, I am finally back up to date with the MCU, and have loved the opening 2 episodes of Moon Knight, while me rewatch of the franchise with my mother (whois watching for the first time) is also getting close to being up to date. So with all that going on, it’s safe to say that I have had the MCU on the brain.
And so for a bit of fun this week, I decided to cross over the MCU with one of my other great loves: rugby. Imagine the the Avengers and their allies got together for a game of rugby, what would the team look like?
Obviously this is just a bit of fun and very tongue in cheek, so please don’t take this too seriously and let me know your selections in the comments, as you’ll notice I ended up leaving out some big names, while also stuck to the heroes rather than include the villains.
Loosehead Prop: Korg
The scrum is a vital part of the game, and with Korg packing down in the front row, it’s hard to imagine many people will be pushing him backwards. Not only that, but as such an easygoing character, he’s not likely to get too riled up by his opposition.
A late addition to my team, the leader of the Jabari Tribe will provide some leadership in the front row and show a ferocious visage to unnerve his opposition. Strong but dynamic, he is everything you want from a modern hooker.
Tighthead Prop: Hulk
Let’s be honest, props generally are the smartest members of the team, you just don’t notice as they hide that on the pitch behind a much more ferocious attitude… sound familiar? If you thought Korg’s side of the scrum was imposing, imagine the big green meanie packing down on the other side of M’Baku… then feel sorry for the opposition pack.
Locks: Groot & Ant-Man
We’ve got a huge front row and an even bigger second row! With Groot’s ability to grow on the spot and Scott Lang able to grow to at least 60ft, it’s going to be all-but impossible for M’Baku to overthrow them at the lineout. Let’s just hope Groot isn’t calling the lineouts or the only play will be “I am Groot”.
Blindside Flanker: Iron Man
Let’s be honest, blindside is an interesting position these days as there’s so many ways you can go, depending on the type of game you’re trying to play. You could go for an enforcer or a slightly more dynamic third lock.Well in Tony Stark, you have an all-rounder, as his suit has enough firepower to make him an enforcer, while also keeping him super dynamic in the loose and being able to take advantage of his suit’s rockets to be an extra jumper at the lineout.
Openside Flanker: Black Widow
Some people may be surprised at this pick, but the Black Widows have proved that they can hold their own, while they are also experts at covert infiltrations, exactly what you want at the breakdown. And just like with Sale’s Curry Twins, if Natasha isn’t available, her “sister” Yelena can do the exact same job just as well.
Number 8: Drax the Destroyer
It was probably pretty obvious that he’d be my pick here once he wasn’t named in my front row. Drax is a number 8 in the mould of Billy Vunipola and Duane Vermeulen: a big guy who will run at you hard and put the team on the front foot with some impressive carries.
Scrum Half: Rocket Raccoon
Let’s be honest, a scrum half is just a small guy without the physicality to back up his big mouth, who the opposition hate all the time and his teammates hate some of the time.
Fly Half: Hawkeye
One of the key members of the Avengers though often underrated (the Avengers have never lost with Clint Barton present). A highly experienced operator with a quiver full of tricks, and you know you can count on him for 100% accuracy.
Inside Centre: The Winter Soldier
Centres these days need to be a jack of all trades, and as a supersoldier, Bucky Barnes certainly brings that to the role. Years of experience alongside his fellow centre (more on that shortly) makes for a reliable defensive organisation, while in attack Bucky uses his vibranium arm for some wicked handoffs and beautiful offloads.
Outside Centre: Captain America
Perhaps the most rounded player on the pitch, the 13 needs to have pace, physicality, good all-round skills, and be a leader and organiser in defence. Well, Steve Rogers is certainly all of that, and with his old pal Bucky at 12 they’ll have a strong partnership.
Wings: Pietro Maximoff & Spider-Man
Is there anything more scary than a wing with pure unadulterated pace? Nope, and that is why Pietro Maximoff was probably the easiest pick of the entire XV. Meanwhile how annoying is it for a team to put in some lovely build-up play only for the wing to knock the ball on? Well with Peter Parker and his sticky fingers on the wing, you have the safest hands on the pitch.
Fullback: Kate Bishop
We’ve all seen it before: the seasoned veteran gets the start at fly half, while their successor starts at fullback to get first team experience in a similar position with slightly less pressure. Well, enter Kate Bishop for a taste of first team action as Clint Barton’s retirement nears.